Ghanaian-isms

It's been awhile since I've written anything and with my trip coming close to its end (2 weeks left), I feel a little guilty. "My apology." Since the last time I wrote, I've stayed in a rural village (Kpoeta), visited two historic European castles (Fort Groot Friedricksburg and St. George's Castle in Elmina), received a most welcome package from my CSA friends, traveled to the neighboring country to the east, spent a night in a Benedictine monastery, washed countless loads of laundry, met a hundred people, stepped on a sea urchin, got robbed of my camera, and had a coconut thrown at my forehead. The last two of these occurred simultaneously...and just when you were getting hopeful that I would add some some pictures to these blogs...luckily I only lost about 100 photos - although they were my favorites - pictures and video of this gorgeous waterfall which would remind you of a scene from Jurassic Park if you saw it. The waterfall didn't even have a name because it wasn't a tourist site. But I will talk about this later as it is not a Ghanaian-ism!

What is a Ghanaian-ism, you ask? Any dialogue or occurrence which can be used as an example of "QUINTESSENTIAL GHANA." Disclaimer: Ghana is indeed a wonderful place, quite ahead of other African countries in terms of governance, peace-keeping, and overall tolerance of new ideas and foreign people. But my Ghanaian-isms are not meant to capture any of these nice aspects. Rather, a Ghanaian-ism is more likely to portray, for instance, disappointment in services, or promptness, or misunderstanding of environmental issues, or discrepancies between what is fact and what is lore, or statements of what I would consider obvious, or just outstanding proof that the English language has yet to be mastered by many Ghanaians. I think you'll understand after a few examples!

While most of my international friends came prepared with a detailed travel guide about Ghana or West Africa as a whole, I did not. It slipped my mind, and I promise you can't find one of these legit books here (The Lonely Planet, Bradt Guide, and one other), so I had to settle for a guide book written by a Ghanaian, and I'm so glad I did (cause he says "the darndest things")!

I quote from page 130:
"LARABANGA MYSTERY STONE This is a mysterious stone which, according to local sources, defied all odds to be moved for a road to be constructed where it stands. Science is unable to explain why the stone "refused" to be moved. The sources disclosed that on several occasions when this rock had been moved, it mysteriously got back to the original place the following day. The frustrated road constructors finally had no option but to make a detour round the stone."

On page 138, the author talks about the "Whistling Rocks of Tongo," unique geographical rock formations through which the wind causes noises reminiscent of humans whistling. I quote, "Again the rocks are supposed to be the home of some local gods, so there is conflicting opinion as to what or who actually makes the whistling noises. While some traditionalists believe the gods are responsible, naturalists believe it is the force of the wind against the rocks that produces the noise."

On page 164, it talks about Nzulezo village - the "village on water" which you can see in Anthony Bourdain's (from the Food Network) episode on Ghana (on YouTube). The village is built on stilts and is far from civilization, only accessible by canoe. I quote, "The people are so ingenious that they use bamboo rather than metal hooks for fishing."

Sometimes history gets confused with lore and it becomes hard to know the truth...
I quote from page 63,
"OKOMFO ANOKYE SWORD SITE The legendary traditional or fetish priest, Okomfo Anokye, is reputed to be the man who conjured from the skies, the much revered Golden Stool of the Asante" which is "supposed to 'contain' the soul of the Asante nation." ..."Historical accounts have it that Okomfo Anokye one day 'planted' a sword in the ground, and told those present at the event that the day the sword would be uprooted, the Asante Kingdom would disintegrate. Numerous people over the years have tried to uproot the sword but all in vain. In the early 1960s, the then World Heavyweight Boxing champion Cassius Clay, who later became Mohammed Ali, visited Ghana. While in Kumasi, he also tried in vain, to uproot the sword. He finally gave up. An attempt was made later to uproot Okomfo Anokye's Sword using bulldozers. This was also not successful. It is baffling. Visitors to Kumasi will have the rare opportunity of trying their hands on this legendary sword which seems to evince supernatural powers."

I've been to this place and you are no longer allowed to touch the sword. And I wonder why? I managed to sneak a picture down close to where the hilt goes into the ground. ...The hilt reminds me a lot of rebar, but you can decide for yourself.
[I will insert the picture here as soon as I get home.]

My friend Thomas (Univ. of Iowa) went to a baboon sanctuary about 2 hours from campus called Shai Hills. He and some others were led by guide. Finally, when they saw a group of baboons in the distance, some dialogue followed which went more-or-less like this:
Thomas: "So, can we get any closer to the baboons?"
The guide: "Yes. Do you have biscuits?"
Thomas: "I do, in my bag. Why?"
The guide: "If you feed baboons biscuits, they come close."
Thomas: "Okay, so we should feed them my biscuits?"
The guide: "No! No! No! It's not good. Don't feed them."
Thomas: "Alright"
The guide: "Do you have the biscuits?"

The guide kept on asking Thomas for the biscuits, which seriously confused Thomas. After much analysis, I can only come up with one logical answer: maybe the guide was hungry.

Three other friends, Ingvil, Ingelise, and Ann-Kristen (spelling?) all from Norway, visited the famous Mount Afadjato - claimed as the highest mountain in Ghana. After hiking to the top, they had a nice view of all the surroundings, all of which should have been at a lower elevation than them. Instead they found themselves looking a bit up along the horizon at a mountain that was clearly taller than the one they had just surmounted. "So if we're on the highest mountain in Ghana, what's that over there?", they asked their guide. "That's the highest peak in Ghana." [I'll admit I don't know much about the difference between peaks and mountains; supposedly a peak is a connected mountain range, which, at least here, they don't consider a mountain.]

I've got so much to say about the butchering of the English language, so I'll have to leave that for another day. Instead I'll leave you with what my friend Kine (Univ. of Oslo, Norway, link to her blog) has termed "the story of unnecessary parenthesis."

For example, a sign that reads, "Redeeming Grace Academy (School)."

Or this one, from a group powerpoint presentation in class, the first slide read, "Agricultural Land Use: Group Two (2)"